lifestyle

Am I, a bad person? An ode to change.

I drift in just a stereotypically trouble girl aspect. I don’t see the appeal of a best friend nor do I wish to have one. My own company at times is too much for be. I am independent among the height of most things, independent and self-driven. I am independent, nomadic but yet attached to a small few.

I don’t want to be your bff, I honestly do not care enough to run through the annoyance of small talk. The small talk itself is you trying to make me become someone I am simply not. And that is this close intertwined sister like figure, so close it hurts. That’s not me, it never will be.

I dislike your need to bring me further in, it’s only my annoyance my guilty annoyance fester inside me. Why, am I so guilty. I know it’s me been moody making me not soo much into your chats make like my fluctuating desire for coffee, my need and will power to withstand this chit chat slowly fades deeper. I feel myself find the idea of socializing with someone whom once was a close friend, ( here’s that word again ) guilty.

But, I have changed. I have not grown up, to say the least. But, I have changed. I have become selfish, but I had to. I have expanded out of this dull little shell, I don’t want to hold your hand. I honestly have better things to do. For me, you may need to change, but then I will change again. Like I always do. I transform into another shade of myself for a year or two, then transform again. And that is just me, you can’t keep up with these waves. The idea is to not.

It’s the guilt of me knowing what I am doing that’s the selfish part, I need to be alone. I need to be with open minded independent people. I don’t want to live the same lives as it was before. The dynamics are shifted much like life does, and now we are in different tides crossing the ocean and that’s ok. They may cross again, they may not.

I hate to use the line, it’s not you, it’s me. But, that’s the truth. I am in a different place are your habitual in nature and that’s the way it is.

Like ships on the open sea, we may cross paths one day.

 

……….

and an ode to possible ending a friendship

 

Passion Fruit without passion

The quarter life crisis has been proven to be an actual thing.This sense of losing , lonesome feelings as the tides of adulthood pull you into the glowing depth of boredom. This melodic nature of the easy, the comfortable way of life…result in utter boredom is the death of the creative root of passion.

Where has my passion gone? Who took it? Did I take it ? Did I leave it somewhere? Do I even want it bacK? Or the real question am I just lazy?

Not so long ago I did, in fact, have what I thought to be, passion. But, much like the every glazing approach of life has stripped it away from me. Like the leafs fall in the autumn air that lacks in South East Queensland ( Autumn is not a thing).

I used to have this focused energy and exact idea of what I wanted to be….but, now it was gone. I wanted to somehow collude the worlds of my love affair of fine leather goods ( and goods in general), with the world of advertising. In my deluded mind, I would spend my days dressed in Prozner and Chole while coming up with million dollar idea. Strange I know….oh the hope.

Little did I fail to grasp my dramatically terrible English skills that I have been reminded of since my early schooling. The borderline dyslexic copywriter is never really going to take off or sell well. 

This mindset it way I sit here, confused oh so very confused and terrified that I will work in a bland cubical and spend my days looking spreadsheets.

A passionfruit without passion is just a fruit and even then that’s not that amazing. 

Kind regards, the passionless passion fruit that now tastes bland and dull  

The basic

Chelsea boot,

The plain, the simple, the easy.

I have currently been travelling around Europe and swore by my beloved Asos Chelsea boots with oxford detailing. But, sadly…..they did not withstand the constant walking around, resulting in retirement.

This post is an ode to these beautiful boots that have inspired me to possible purchases more expensive ones in the future ( several shopping carts on several online stores have been filled).  I am possibly in the near future investing in a basic staple of the R&M Williams boot, but don’t want to look like a farmer or we could go big with a really quality purchases. WHO KNOWS, more online shopping to progress.

However, I am still overcoming wearing Chelsea boots with shorts, as they make anyone on the smaller side legs look slightly larger. That been said when paired with denim the Chelsea will elongate your legs.

I will never forget the first time I wore head to toe black with them, i.e. black skinny jeans ( the Chelsea boots best friend ) and black tee. Someone told me I looked like I was in a band, lame I know….but it made me  feel great.

You will be missed and I will always love you.

 

 

Maybe I’m Kanye

There are many times within a normal day what would “Kanye do?” Or “what would Kanye wear” . Of course she would wear cashmere.

Than one day it dawned on me I am in fact kind of Kanye. Firstly, I love myself ! Typical Kanye trait. I aspired to justices in the world, so too does Kanye , but most of all I too am a realist.

I am a realistic individual. I am not 100% sure when the tables turned from been a classic optimistic person , whom one would describe as “bubbly”. To a realised , I person I am today. Although, I wear my realism flag with pride like Kanye does. Like Kanye, I understand certain things in life. That things ain’t easy , thanks yeezie. ( see what I did there ). I get that you have to work hard and 99% your going to be knocked down or grown. But  realist just have a more truthful perception on the world. My mainly is due to dating. Optimistic people you see create ideals for people, that everyone will be happy and find ‘the one’, they will tell their friends that the guys going to message him , and well all know he won’t. For me personal oprimitistc people are the biggest liars. That’s why the honest ‘realist’ is the way to be . I get that he isn’t going to call and I know there isn’t a one . I know there isn’t a lot of things and its sad when it dawns on your , but your get over it.

Life as a realist is very fun.I have a deep spiritually  bond with Kanye and understand the likes  Seinfeld.I continue  to be sarcastic to an extent when I myself am unsure when I am joking or not. But my realised ways have taught me to be myself and world this is who I am so you better deal with it.

Kanye West

Realist  are such a happy bunch of people

Confession from the weekend rave

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I like to go out , its fun! I get to drink, I get to mingle , I get to pretend I am French to get free drinks its great ! And most of all I get to dress up! However , this one particular night , I encountered one of the most interesting remarks from a drunken person. It was interesting to say the least.

Let me paint a picture, I was wearing my trusty fun as tweed hot pants from forever 21. They are amazing , I love hot pants, comfortable and they make your legs look amazing. Matched with a loose Zara stripped cotton tank and leather patterned oxfords, I was comfortable and personal thought I looked amazing, for a number of reason. Firstly, I looks pretty good just the right balance of riskaay, flirty and polished, just the right amount of spark to get me a free drink . I wasn’t dressed slutty, the outfit was a typical Claire outfit and from fellow friends , I received many complements on how I was nicely dressed. And secondly, I knew if I was a unique outfit, that was a bandage dress or something tacky that I would attracted decent people, its a none science.

Enter, some random drunken guy. Yes, he was cute. Yes, he was well dressed , I did like his watch , I would wear that.Conversation was okish, going along nicely until he says to me . ” your really hot, you know you would get more guys if you dressed cuter’

Now , let that soak in. My firstly response was , Yes ! I am now a successful man repeller and secondly, what a dick head. But, his comments made me think, does it all come down to the clothes or lack of clothing on my body ,are guys going to more  attracted to me if I wear the same thing as the girl next to me ?  Its seemed that bandage dress and a  life as sheep is the way to win some dick head heart. Now, I know I can’t change some party boys mind, cause to a degree he is very correct. And its sad that to be notified people think they must camouflage into the crowd. I say wear what you want , but first and for most wear it for yourself, never anyone but yourself and trust me you will be surprised by the result

The morning after

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We all know the feeling the morning after a really good night out, one that you may have over stepped your judgement on what ever it may have been , but ooooh was it worth it ! However no morning after can compare to the Tuesday after cyber Monday. You have had a full on 5 days my friend, starting it of with thanksgiving ,followed by black Friday and then the whole weekend just rolled into buying everything in site, off and online.

Some of us my be buried m physical and mentally, are finger my be swore and we may still be fragile ,that is why you must rest, in your Egyptian  cotton sheets that where 30% offfff ! SCORE ! and rest it all off, maybe Piperlime will miss read your addressed and that shift dress you ordered will never arrive….. we can only dream Now, you may be left with some items that you are thinking ….” why the hell did I get this , I don’t even like purple” or ” what was in my Starbucks pumpkin latte that possessed me to buy these mint ear warmers, I live in Florida ! “. Its time to stop, rethink and evaluate if you actually won anything of value. Just because the lady in the Juicy sweat pants wanted that heavily discounted bad Marc Jacobs look alike bag for her 12 year daughter, doesn’t mean your going to like it. So listen here friends, this is what we are going to do ,

1. Keep all cashmere items , you will always wear them

2. Try everything you brought on , if some thing that may match, play around with things in your wardrobe. Now , if it doesn’t go with anything and its got you thinking, I should buy that cute Zara skirt it will go with it . DON’T ! You are poor now until Grandma gives you a Christmas coupon

3. Make a pile two piles, re gift and EBay . Use each wisely

4.Although  you may have made money on eBay ,do not go shopping until boxing day, give yourself and your credit cards a rest

Internationl Treat Yo Self Day

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Thanks giving is over guys, who cares what Uncle Mike was thankful for , he should be thankful for weight watches.

Personal I would just like to say what I am thankful for, and that is Black Friday .WOOH WOOOOH , hear that …..that’s the sound of bargains and the sound of cashmere on special !!!!!! the best kind of sale!  Black Friday , is no know as international treat yo self day, as 95% of us buying things will be for ourselves. Cause let’s be honesty , the next month ain’t going to be all that merry.

Firstly, I would like to start with Zara and there 30% of store wide ! Thank you Zara. For I need everything at your store more than I ever wanted before! Such as ever time in your shoe section. I have found footwear very easy to justify , as you actually need them, cause no one wants to see your ugly ass feet. And beside , guys as the Christmas carol states ” Baby , its cold outside” , you need a new coat and boots….. just saying

Omg is that Burberry …..well it could be from a distance in a shown Strom , thanks Zara.

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Secondly , Unqiol , I am thankful for your cotton cashmere sweaters ! they are just beautiful and I now have one in almost every colour. Queue the fun hand clapping emjio , cause at this price you can buy 10. One to wear to all the different Christmas themed dinner your Aunt Jean has.

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A big thank you to my pals, Macy , Pipeline, Nordstrom and basically ever single place that graces my inbox with a lovely little message tell me to ” treat yo self”

Black Friday count down

Oh sale season I love you deeply , you are my everything. I dream about this week, I cross the days off my Calendar , maybe next year I will make my own chocolate count down calendar like the ones for Christmas. But , that one day a year ( well its grown from that into like 3 days) is near. I can smell the samples , I can hear people every where training for this day , memorizes there sizes in year brand , cut and style. Coupons fill the every person draw , ready for this day. Black Friday !

As, my normal pre black Friday goes, I scroll my favourite places , composing a list of all the things I will die without, marginally need and will become an impulse buy ( we must avoid these items). On top of my list of things that will improve my life by 5 % is these bad boys. Superga sneakers, not just any old sneaker , these amazing to die for ( I will go hunger games to get theses ) are cow hid / pony fur sneakers.I just need them , with cigarette jeans and a cashmere sweater and I am set for the happy season, cause with these on my feet I can take the world. Now I tell I need these as my friends, so don’t go buying them all on me now that’s just plan , rude. Now everyone go practice there reflects for the big day !

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Lady Pockets

Don’t get me wrong , I love been a women. I get to wear heels , skirts  dresses, lipstick and get away with far to many thing. But, one thing that really raining on my parade , is the struggle of lady pockets. The struggle is caused by the ever growing size in phones, and the very small or shall I say petite size of our pocket  or the total lack of pockets in some skirt, trouser or dresses and don’t even get me started on jeans. stumbled across this issue when shopping for a new phone. Currently when shopping for such a product ( before I buy one of eBay ) I am actual testing to see if the phone is fit in my pocket .Although , I receive odd looks , this is what the world has come to.

We are in a world of big better phones, that personal won’t fight in my back pocket. The phones now are actually bigger. I get the memo ok , I need to buy more hand bags. But ! seriously can’t the just have better pocket sizes. But sometime I just like to carry my phone on me , if my phones in my pocket I don’t loose it in my bag and mess your 10000000 calls and message. And how to practice the cool simplistic aurora that I wish to posses if I have to lug a hand bag with me every where. I am now on an accessories budget to afford the goddam phone. I am seriously considering an old school Nokia.

Let do a demon , put your phone in your back pocket and see how easy it to never loose it , oh wait it doesn’t fit do say ! THE STRUGGLE IS REALLL! # fightladypocket.

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Anit no IPhone 6 going to fit in that back pocket

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Put your money where your mouth is

On the 30th of May , in the middle of my intense week of 3 birthday parities all with food and underage drinking, may I say a lovely selection of drinks. I made the decision to take part and commit to the 30 day abs challenge. So when the 1st of June came around I downloaded the app and started. However , today 4 days in commitment is fading as I put of the mini workout later each day. When the clock struck 4;20 and I had yet to complete my set I thought of maybe pure procrastination or putting off the fire in my abs and feeling of vomiting in my brand new beautiful purple work out gear. ( its all purple and lovely ) hit me. Do I a) do my set or b) check my bank account in hope of witness the beautiful sight of money the possibility of new shoes. Since when did our banks account health become before ours?
What I am trying to get at is that in our modern life, money seems to be on our mind and ruling it. It never stops, in my mind I would rather spend money then get fit and stay health. We mistaken into thinking that we can pay our bodies to be a way we want. This can be in the small scale of buying a gym membership , where you only go every 2 weeks and walk slightly on a treadmill for 10 minutes ( if that). Or the other side of the scale in plastic surgery. It makes us question , what we value more. We send copious amounts of cash on our vegan fuelled , gluten free and organic diets. But, could we all just save our money and go for a run ?? Form the next week or till however long I last , I am taking up a new challenge. To not think about the money I have , but I myself and what my body needs. More runs to clear my head and get in touch of what I really need and these worry about my bank account might be a health thing.